“It’s not fair, there are babies having babies every day. I’m ready - I have a supportive partner, a stable job, and I want a family. Why isn’t this working?”
Exploring different fertility solutions can be really hard, and in a lot of different ways, but you’re not alone. Many women are now pushing children back on their timelines so they can focus on themselves, their relationships, and their careers. Unfortunately, the fertility timeline has stayed the same, so these women can often struggle with infertility.
In fact, “infertility” was recently redefined - any couple who has been unsuccessful at getting pregnant after more than a year of regular unprotected sex. If you're currently undergoing infertility treatment it's not going as planned, here's how to cope with your situation.
Physical Toll
Being pregnant is hard, but what a lot of people don’t realize is actually getting pregnant could be a whole lot harder. One of the first infertility treatments involves medication (and most other treatments require medication in tandem). According to NHS Choices and American Pregnancy, possible side effects include:
● Depression, Irritability, or Mood Swings
● Restlessness, Insomnia, Dizziness, Blurred Vision, or Headaches
● Nausea or Vomiting
● Nasal Congestion
● Hot Flashes, Breast Tenderness, or Decreased Breast Size
● Decreased Blood Pressure or Bone Density Loss
● Swelling/Rash at the Injection Site
● Painful Intercourse, Ovarian Cysts, Pelvic Discomfort, or Vaginal Dryness
● Ovarian Hyper-stimulation Syndrome (OHSS) - This is when medication sensitivity causes too many eggs to develop in the ovaries. Symptoms include pain/bloating in the lower abdomen, vomiting, shortness of breath, and feeling faint.
IVF side effects include clear or bloody fluid, cramping, bloating, constipation, or breast tenderness.
Financial Toll
We know how expensive fertility treatments cost, but since there are so many more options now and more families are utilizing them, more insurance companies are covering certain treatments. In fact, some financiers and medical providers are even offering partial and full refunds when a treatment is unsuccessful.
Emotional Toll
You can find a mental health counselor who specializes in helping deal with infertility through the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. It’s important to talk to someone, even if you’re simply looking for support, but there are plenty of reasons to speak to a fertility counselor.
They can help you when depression starts to transcend other areas of your life, like your relationships or your career. They can also help you sift through all your options, so they don’t overwhelm you. If you’re considering gamete donations, surrogacy, adoption, or a childfree life, you should definitely talk to a counselor about that. It’s a lot to accept, and something you might not realize you need help with.
Even if you have a wonderful, supportive partner, counseling can be great for you. Couples will handle stress in different ways, and a lot of times, it can cause stress between the two. A counselor can help you get through it together or help give you what you need as individuals.